


Cutie J the Incredible

by Blivy



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angels, Demons, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blivy/pseuds/Blivy
Summary: Jeanne d'Arc is a school teacher at the E. Crowe High School by day, but by night, she transforms into the superheroine Cutie J! With her trusty blade Bloody Moon at her side, she will cut down evil where it stands and protect her beloved students from danger!





	Cutie J the Incredible

_New York City: High Rise Condo_

_7:32 AM_

A hangover, a dry mouth, and the annoyance of her phone alarm blaring out a familiar tune.

_Fly me to the moon,_

_and let me play among the stars_

_let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars…_

Jeanne yawned loudly as she picked up her phone, tapped the alarm off, then immediately drifted back to sleep, returning to her dream world of swimming in martinis and caviar.

  
“Jeanne, wake up. You’re going to be late.” The sensation of something touching, no, shaking, her arm.

  
“Mmh-” She brought a pillow over her ear, blocking out the noise, and turning on her side to stop her arm shaking. The voice continued to urge her awake, its tone growing more impatient.

  
“Jeanne, get the _hell_ up!” The other woman tore the pillow from Jeanne’s hands, raised it above her head, then slammed it down on the sleep-deprived witch’s body as hard as she could.

 

“Cereza, what are you-” She began to mumble before she was cut off by the pillow slamming into her face this time. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

 

“It’s already seven thirty!” Cereza yelled. “You’ve been late to work what, two times already? Do you _really_ want another run-in with the school board?”

  
Fuck, she knew Cereza was right, but it was _so early_ and she felt like such a mess. After a groan and a moment of hesitation, she relented. “Ugh, fine, fine. I’m up.”

  
Cereza scoffed. “What on Earth would you do without me?”

  
Jeanne sat up in bed, stretched her arms above her head and yawned. “I’d _probably_ be able to sleep in for once.” _And would probably have been fired by now._

  
She was barely able to drag herself out of bed, but before long she was able to brush her teeth and hair, get a brief shower, and then a bite to eat before she rushed out the door, leaving Cereza with a kiss on the cheek.

\---

_New York City - E. Crowe High School_

_8:02 AM_

She may have had to use Lynx Within to beat the excessively slow New York traffic, and she may have caused a couple of accidents along the way, but she managed to get to the school eight minutes before class started. As always, there were a few students who were early and already sitting at their desks.

Her outfit was a simple yet fashionable ensemble consisting of a red and white blouse, red pants, and red heels, as well as her signature red glasses, of course. She had quite the reputation amongst her fellow teachers and students for having a deep liking for the color red. She remembered a conversation she had regarding her attire in the teachers’ lounge when she had first started working at the school; _I suppose we all have our quirks._ If only they knew.

She set her bag down on her chair and began pulling out binders filled with lesson plans and notes, leaving it cracked open to the day’s lesson plan, and leaving a stack of graded papers near one of the empty desk corners.

More and more students began pouring in, and as class time officially began, most of the seats had been filled in. She greeted different students as they walked in, and when everyone is seated, she addressed the class as a whole. “Good morning, class. Please get your graded assignments and then open up your textbooks to page one-hundred and eighty-seven.”

Jeanne took attendance, went through her lesson plan, handed out another assignment, and then bid her first class of the day farewell. She did this for each subsequent class as well, and the day seemed to be going by in its usual way. That is, until, one of her students walked in and she could see multiple affinities trailing her. _What the fuck?!_ She thought, her mind racing as she watched the plain looking black-haired girl take a seat, the angels practically breathing down the girl’s neck.

She went through the lesson plan as usual, but question after question creeped into her mind. Why were there angels following this teenage girl around? What possible explanation could there be?

\---

_New York City - E. Crowe High School_

_3:15 PM_

As soon as school was over, she went into a supply closet, entered purgatorio, and then walked out, waiting for the girl whose name was… Kara, if she remembered correctly. _There she is- and it looks like her haloed friends are still with her._ Jeanne decided to play it safe by following her at a distance until they were in a less-populated area.

She trailed Kara for at least ten minutes before the girl stopped at a bench in a more secluded area flanked by grass and shrubbery. Kara took notebooks from her bag and placed them to the side, then rummaged in her bag, presumably for other supplies.

But Jeanne noticed something peculiar- one of the affinities was reaching for the girl’s books, and got its hands on a black leather-covered journal of some sort. The affinity raised it in the air triumphantly. _What are those angels doing with a girl’s diary?_ This was simply too strange to ignore.

Jeanne began to strut closer to the affinities, All 4 One already materializing in her hands and on her heels.“Hello there, motherfuckers! I hate to show up to the party uninvited, but you’ve got something that’s piqued my interest.” She said, her voice projecting loudly enough that it startled Kara, causing her to jump slightly in her seat and look around for the source of the voice.

The angels growled and drew their weapons, pointing them directly at the unintimidated witch. Time seemed to slow down around them. “Tsk, tsk. Your kind never learn, do you? First you harass this poor girl and steal her diary, and then you try threatening me with your silly little toys? Do you have anything to say for yourselves?” Silence. These angels weren’t the talkative types- but then again affinities usually weren’t.

“That’s what I thought!” Jeanne practically roared as she did the splits, stretching her legs out to both sides and dodging the spears and maces which were pointed at her. She did a sweeping breakdance, knocking two of the affinities off of their feet, before she stood back up and kicked the other one directly in the face. Her heel-gun went off, shattering its helmet and sending multiple magically-charged bullets into its head. The angel screamed in agony before it fell and disappeared in a flash of light.

She slammed her heel into the ground, causing one of Madama Styx’s massive legs to appear in front of her and stomp on one of the downed angels. She lifted her heel slightly and kicked, sending some dirt into the air in front of her and causing Madama Styx to kick both angels in one sweep, causing them to fly off and explode in a large flash of light, resembling a fireworks display. She held out one hand to the side, catching the journal perfectly without even looking. She could tell upon touching it that the book was demonic in nature, and she quickly flipped through the pages. Strangely, most of the pages were blank, only about 10% of the book was filled with words. Among the last few lines of text were the following, and reading them caused Jeanne a moment of pause.

_An Angel shall come into possession of this book._

_An Umbra Witch shall come into possession of this book._

_The Umbra Witch shall return this book to the Human Girl or face the consequences._

“Miss d’Arc?” Kara called out, obviously very confused, searching for the source of her teacher’s voice.

Jeanne scoffed, the sound of her student’s voice taking her attention away from the book, giving her little time to examine the rest of its contents. She closed it and hid behind a tree before returning to the human world, her guns disappearing as well. She came out from behind the tree and called to the girl. “Kara, my dear, you have some explaining to do.” She walked up to the girl and held the book out in front of her face. “What exactly is _this?”_

Kara stared at the book for a moment then tilted her head, her expression blank. She simply shrugged, looking up at her teacher, her eyes fearful.

Jeanne put her hands on her hips, still holding onto the book. “ _Really._ You don’t know what it is?”

  
Kara shook her head no, her face pale. She avoided eye contact, her gaze pointed at a tree behind Jeanne.

“Hm.” Jeanne straightened, following the girl’s gaze to the tree behind her, before turning back to the girl. “So I _guess_ you wouldn’t mind if I took it home then?”

  
The girl’s face became even more devoid of color in that instant. “N-No.” Jeanne could tell there was something dreadfully wrong. Something seemed to be holding the girl back from saying...something.

“Well, if you say so. See you in class tomorrow, Kara.” She turned on her heel and began to walk away from the girl.

When her teacher was already several meters away, Kara croaked out, “Miss d’Arc! Wait!” Jeanne stopped in her tracks and glanced behind her, a faint smile creeping on her lips. _Got you._

“It… It’s mine. May I have it back?” The girl asked, her voice quiet, looking up at the Witch.

“Of course you can. _If_ you explain to me what it is.”

“I- I can’t do that.” Kara shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek.

“And _why_ might that be?” Jeanne asked, clearly not buying it.

The girl began to get frustrated now, her cheeks slightly flushed. “I just can’t!” Her voice burst out at a raised volume.

“Listen. If you don’t tell me _why_ I should give it back then I’m obviously not going to.”

  
Kara was holding her breath, desperately wanting to say something. When Jeanne shook her head and turned around again, Kara had no choice. “Because- because if I tell you, they’ll come for me!” She said, then immediately broke out into a fit of sobs, clearly stressed.

“What?” Jeanne blinked then lifted the girl’s chin to look up at her. “What did you say? _Who_ will come for you?”

Kara shook her head, the tears pouring out of her eyes now. “It’s too late,” The girl replied through sniffles and sobs, defeated. “They’ll be here soon.”

“I’m not going to let anything harm you, understand? I promise that whoever _they_  are will die before they lay a finger on you.” She said, her facial expression and tone of voice were both serious and calm, and it had an effect on Kara; She began to calm down too. Until the book began to quake in Jeanne’s hands and it was forced open, flying into the air. Jeanne watched, her neck craned, as a black cloud began to slither from the pages and then condensed into a gigantic, demonic snake-like form. Its body was tightly coiled but Jeanne could tell that this thing was easily the size of multiple trains, length-wise.

“Fuck!” Jeanne shouted. “Run, Kara!” The girl screamed and did as she was told, abandoning her school supplies on the bench. The snake demon’s gaze followed the girl and it seemed intent on chasing after her, but Jeanne stepped out in front of it. “You’re fighting _me,_ you oversized worm!” The snake hissed angrily in response, its flaming tongue flailing around its mouth.

Jeanne’s hair began to shorten, receding back to her neck, before forming the shape of a white, feline mask, as well as an Umbran Battle Uniform underneath her everyday school teacher attire. She reached out in front of her and a blade seemingly made of pure red light materialized in her hand.

And with that, the heroic Cutie J launched into action, aiming her trusty blade Bloody Moon straight at the demonic snake!


End file.
